Shocking Mirror Revelations and Other Random Thoughts

• This morning, while getting ready for work, I looked in the mirror and was shocked to see Nancy Grace looking back at me.  I think I’m going to quit poofing my hair. 

• On Facebook, why do people comment on celebrities’ statuses?  Like the Pioneer Woman.  I’m a fan of her page, but when she posts something, she gets about 300,000 comments.   Do you think she’s reading them?  Do you think your comment is going to jump up and impress the daylights out of her?  Not gonna happen.  She is WAY above you.   You may as well be talking to yourself  … kind of like what I’m doing right now.

• School carnivals are a racket.  I remember when my younger siblings went to charter school and my mom would just write a check at the beginning of the year.  That was it.  No fundraisers.   Why can’t they just do that in public schools instead of mugging us a couple times a year via bounce houses, fishing ponds,  and over-priced, cold pizza?  My neighbors and I decided that we’re going to hold our own carnival right in front of our houses at the park.  When people ask what we’re raising funds for, we’ll just tell them we were long overdue for a good pedicure and wardrobe upgrade.    

• I know that drinking lots of water every day is really good for me, but I’m conflicted over the benefits vs. the pain in the butt of having to get up and go to the bathroom every 20 minutes. 

• I’m really afraid of pressure cookers.  Always have been.  I don’t trust anything that hisses at me when I touch it, especially when extreme heat and potential combustion are involved.  When my ex insisted on taking it in the divorce, I didn’t fight him on it. 

• I don’t get the popularity of most of the female singers and/or bands these days.    There seem to be two styles on the radio lately:  I’m-in-love-so-I’m-gonna-whine-and-then-kill-myself … or … talentless-oversexed-gonna-seduce-you-with-my-meat-dress.  If I had my way, Katy Perry, Pink, Lady Gag Me, Adele, the Band Perry, and that Bieber chick would all just disintegrate into a fine powder.

• Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep because I’m being haunted by some dumb and/or embarrassing thing I did 15 years ago, or in high school.  You’re probably wondering, “Like what?”  But I’m hesitant to provide examples.

• I like comments. A lot.