I work on the campus of a major university. Day after day, more and more, I am seeing things that I thought…or hoped…I’d never have to see again. I can live with the way-too-big earrings. I can even live with the way-too-small jeans (on other people, that is). The wide, studded belts secured loosely around the outside of the oversized blouses are, well, nearly tolerable. But I saw something the other day that made my blood run chill. It’s almost too painful for me to type out loud.
That’s right, I saw a female student donning a pair of stirrup pants. Oh, the horror!
It’s been coming, slowly but surely. I honestly kept hoping, though, that maybe it wouldn’t really catch on. Perhaps someone would get hold of one of my high school yearbooks and see how dreadfully hideous we all were. Word would spread and this trend would be stopped cold, before anyone had a chance to even purchase a single pair of stirrup pants or jelly shoes or checkered Vans®.
Each of the decades has left its own fashion smudge on society. The 70’s brought us bell bottoms and platform shoes. I was a mere child in the 70’s, but I’m a big fan of any ensemble that creates the illusion of a smaller butt and longer legs. The 90’s were all about the grunge. Oddly enough, every girl wanted to dress like Kurt Cobain. The baggier your big, ripped flannel shirt, the better. This certainly wasn’t my favorite look, but you can’t dispute the value of such a low-maintenance style regimen. It was wash ‘n go, only better, because the “washing” step was completely eliminated. Just go. Many of us saved a lot of money on toothbrushes and shampoo in the 90’s.
But the 80’s. Oh, the 80’s. What was pretty about that decade? Nothing, I say. The bangs were big and sticky. The shirts were oversized. The pants were undersized. What’s most amusing and puzzling to me is that we spent a lot of time, energy and money just to achieve ugly. I primped and primped and primped some more with all the gel and the hairspray and the bright blue eye shadow. While that layer of lacquer was hardening, I’d spend several minutes working up a sweat trying to safety pin the sides of my pants to make them as tapered and unflattering as possible. After that, it was time for another lacquer application. All that work just to look like a "Thriller" extra.
Oh really, who am I kidding here? It comes down to this: My feelings about 80’s apparel are likely rooted somewhere in deep bitterness over the fact that there’s nothing in my size that can legally be called a “skinny jean.” In other words, if this throwback trend continues and my beloved bootcut pant becomes obsolete, I’ll be in a world of hurt. It’s muumuus and denim jumpers from here on out.
I’m not happy about that prospect, not one bit. The 80's may be calling, but the 90's brought us Caller ID. I'm using mine.
(COMMENTS WELCOME AND APPRECIATED)
6 comments:
I think this one is my favorite so far :)
Like, totally fur sure! For some, the 80s were a great time. Let’s list some of the highlights (in no particular order):
• MTV
• Fraggle Rock
• Molly Ringwald in Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club and Pretty In Pink
• SOME of the music: although not all my cup of tea, I can think of several influential bands off the top of my head...Duran Duran, A-Ha, Rick Springfield, Corey Hart, Blondie, The Thompson Twins, Tony Basil, U2, Howard Jones and Men At Work. Trust me, I could go on.
But the 80s were also an incredibly embarrassing time, too . . . particularly the fashion and the hair styles. For some, it was nothing but bad hair, worse clothing and music that often had more to do with machines than talent. I still can’t believe some of the fashions that the 80s managed to make mainstream. Acid washed jeans?? Parachute pants??.
I guess that’s to be expected when you have an entire generation of teenagers who are trying to find themselves. They looked for ways to express their creativity and individuality. Men wore heavy makeup and grew long hair. Women wore short hair and layers of clothing. Both sexes were looking for an identity. Unfortunately, there’s no new creativity out there. Everything is simply recycled, which explains why 1980s clothing styles are back on the shelves now.
How does the saying go (although probably incorrectly attributed or misquoted)? Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it? Oddly, the shoe still fits.
i agree 100% with you....and you make me laugh and smile...LOVE reading your stuff!
Tami...how come you're "..." ? What's up with that??? Are you in the witness protection program...again???? Oopsie. Sorry.
I, too, am pushing back against the skinny jeans. I believe unless your legs are over 4 feet long, they just look ridiculous! To add to that note, unless ones chromosomes pattern is XX, they shouldn't be worn! (That includes every boy star on the Disney channel)
BTW, this was one of my favorites, too.
I have to admit that I loved the 80's look. Although you wouldn't catch me wearing stirrups for nothing now. And I saw some funky t-shirts that had sewn on vests that looked very 80's the other day and they were just plain butt ugly.
Cole told me he only wants light jeans, no dark jeans. I like my dark jeans. :(
And I LOVED my big hair. I still miss big hair. Where is the Aqua Net???
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