Sunday, November 13, 2011

Weekend Randomness

I've decided that I’m going to become a TV weather girl just so that I can annoy the snot out of people by jumping up and down and getting all excited every time there’s snow in the forecast. 

Sometimes, you just have to tell big, fat lies to your kids.

I wonder if the guys who stand there in road construction holding the “SLOW” signs ever flip it around to “STOP” just to mess with people.  If they don’t, they should.  They look pretty bored.

Thanks to email and word processing software, I’ve pretty much lost all ability to write the old fashioned way.  I can barely sign my name anymore when I have to. 
Along those same lines, I really miss birthday cards and just-because notes, the kind that come in an envelope in your mailbox. 

I wish I were brave enough to talk to myself even when people are watching.  

John Cougar Mellencamp should not sing Christmas songs.  No, not ever.

When I’m a grandma, I want to have the house with the big back yard where all the families gather for cookouts and birthday parties.

I think talent should stand on its own.  It’s not fair that a college degree often trumps talent.  Of course, I might feel differently if I’d been smart enough to finish college back in the day. 

There’s no such thing as too much cilantro.

I really wish that smacking other people’s kids in the mouth wasn’t so frowned upon.

I hate these. 

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Post-Halloween Randomness

I may need to switch to a slightly darker make-up foundation.  This morning, instead of Nancy Grace, I saw Edward Cullen in the mirror.  No, really.

I love it when I send someone a heartfelt, personal email telling them how much I admire their hard work in accomplishing something and I go on for like eight sentences and I get the reply:  “Thanks.”

I have a gift for getting in the checkout line behind the 85 year old lady who’s using a debit card for the first time in her life.

My kids are officially addicted to the show, “I Shouldn’t Be Alive.”   Apparently I’m raising children who are fascinated by half ripped-off thighs and blood-filled abdominal cavities.  Thank you, Netflix streaming.

I’ve come to the conclusion that college girls use campus restrooms for primping more than for peeing.

I’ve probably taken thousands of showers in my lifetime.  So how come when I get in, the water temp is ALWAYS wrong?

If you've ever wondered if it's possible to experience withdrawal headaches just THINKING about giving up sugar and white flour, trust me:  IT IS.