The Bread of Life

I've been on a weight loss journey for a while now.

Around 28 years or so.

So I'm an expert.

When it comes to dropping pounds, the concept is pretty basic:  Calories in-calories out.  Expend more than you consume.   How you eat those calories doesn't really matter so much, at least as it relates to weight loss.  Of course, eating 1,500 calories per day in orange cocaine (aka Cheetos) is not going to provide you with much in the way of nutrients, but a person CAN lose weight eating like that.

Armed with that solid bit of knowledge, I've decided that my newest fat busting endeavor is going to involve toast.  Lots of toast.  Maybe nothing BUT toast.

This guy speaks to me:



My comfort food bestie isn't ice cream or warm chocolate cake or pizza or Twinkies, though I fully admit that I like those things.  When the kids are all tucked in and it's time to self-medicate, I'm all about the bread, baby.

Yeah, toast!

Whole grain goodness, warmed to perfection and topped with melting butter.  Does it get any better?

I realize the OTHER health "experts" out there may take issue with my approach, but really, what do THEY know?  How can they even call themselves experts?  Have THEY been trying and failing at weight loss for 28 years?  I, on the other hand, have tons of experience in this area.

Literally. Tons.

This business of trying to eat a well-balanced diet hasn't worked out so well for me to this point.  If people--and I use that term loosely here--like Lindsey Lohan can survive on nothing but booze and...well...MORE booze, I'm wondering if all that junk about fruits and vegetables and protein isn't just a bunch of media hype.

Perhaps, like Miss Lohan,  I'll just pick one thing that I really, really like and stick with that.

Yeah, toast!

...and chocolate milk.  Oh all right, TWO things.

Sorry I'm not sorry.