Friday, April 16, 2010

Pollyanna Day 11

Today's gems are a bit random.  You're probably asking yourself how that's different from the other ten days.  Good point.  Read on:


Special Deliveries.  I ordered a book the other day from Amazon.com.  The friend who recommended it to me (love you, Erin) strongly urges others to patronize local businesses and not send their hard-earned dollars to the big dot-commers, but...well...I can't help myself.  I love getting packages.  And even when I go online, punch in my address, and pay for the darn thing myself, I'm still surprised when the cute little brown package shows up on my doorstep a couple of days later.  "Why, lookie here.  Somebody sent me something!  I wonder what it could be."   So yesterday my unexpected package arrived and I was so excited...and surprised!   In case you wanna know, the author is Laurie Notaro and the book is called, I Love Everyone (and Other Atrocious Lies): True Tales of a Loudmouth Girl.  Check out all her books here.   Or visit her website  http://www.laurienotaro.com.  She rocks.  And so do little brown packages (that aren't ticking).

Politically incorrect toilets.  Huh?  Nope, do not adjust your internet.  I said "politically incorrect toilets."  I would like to meet the tree-hugging, one-square-of-tissue-per-wipe whackadoo who thought it would be a good idea to invent something called a low-flow toilet.  Ever tried to flush something other than urine down one of these environmentally friendly doohickeys?  Good luck with that.  My house is new enough that I think I may be the victim of this cruel creation that probably had its beginnings in Al Gore's pretend global warming research lab.  In other words, I think my master bath toilet is one of those low-flow gadgets.  I'll spare you the details as to how I've drawn this conclusion, but let's just say I'd love to thank Al and his minions personally by paying a visit to them and using their low-flow toilets (though I doubt Al has one) about an hour or so after eating a giant plate full of linguine.  

I guess I can't really blame them.  These are probably the same people eating wheat grass and tofu for every meal.  I wonder if they've ever even SEEN a brick of cheese...or a Twinkie.  They probably don't expel anything larger than a rabbit pellet on any given day anyway.  So for them, I guess those low-flow toilets do the job.  Not for the rest of us, Al.  Not for the rest of us.  I'll take a 13 golf ball flusher, thank you very much.
I'm wondering, incidentally, exactly how much water am I conserving with these PC toilets when I have to flush them three times in order to clear the water?  I'm just askin...

Taco Rides.  Don't know what a taco ride is?  Well, technically, neither do I.  Click here for the Facebook page if you really want to know more about it.  Here's what I DO know:  It involves people in Nebraska or Iowa or both or something hopping on bikes on Thursdays and riding 10 miles to eat tacos, then riding back.  Why in the world would a Utah girl care about a bunch of bike-riding taco-eaters in the prairie lands, you might ask?  Let's just say that one of those bikers is a "friend" of mine who happens to have THE BEST, rock-hard thighs of any man I know.  And I do believe that those beefy hunks of man-thighs that I so love to pinch are mainly the result of lots of bike riding.  Taco rides included.  And for the record, he didn't think I could find a way to worm taco rides into my Pollyanna posts. Ha. Guess I showed him.  Really, what's NOT to be thankful for here?  Mexican food and sexy legs...does it GET any better?

3 comments:

JW said...

Last night's ride was awesome. Especially coming back. The weather was perfect and it was that night time quiet that doesn't exist in the city anymore. I had a lot of fun!

BossyMommy said...

Whoa. The elusive taco rider himself has graced us with his commentary.

Glad you had a great night, sweets. You deserve it.

Jen said...

Oh Jacey . . . TMI, but too funny at the same time! Never thought to be Pollyanna about flushing . . . hmmm.